I aspire to become the lesbian Carrie Bradshaw. In fact, the “Which Sex in the City Character Are You?” quiz put me squarely in Carrie’s court, despite my conviction that I was a total Miranda. We all know those online quizzes are deadly accurate. Since I just moved to New York two weeks ago, my goal should be more easily attainable, since the city of giant fruit lore also doubles as a character in the show.
I commute into the city from Brooklyn for grad school. My continuing education was inevitable. NYC, however, was far from where I pictured myself. Let’s just say I didn’t have the guts, until I met a small town girl who also went to school here. She survived; I figured I could do it, too. Okay, okay, I essentially moved here because of a girl, but not for a girl, which is an important distinction for a 35 year-old late dyke bloomer who is perpetually besotted. I had to look up besotted in the dictionary when my friend Bob (short for Roberta) first described me this way. Basically, I’m in love with being in love. Trust me, it fits.
This is not to say I fall in love frequently, or that my affections are vague. Since I came out at age 28, I’ve had two long-term relationships with Gwen and Sylvia. I certainly loved them, but when Bob says besotted, she’s talking about the gut wrenching stuff of unrequited love, or love that was once returned, but was quickly removed. I’ve had a heaping helping of that over the past three years. I am seldom the remover. In fact, I tend to sink my teeth in like Tyson. This brand of love is much more interesting due to the high, almost comical, pain content. People enjoy pain and sex (insert link for the Hills), sometimes together, although if you’re looking for that kind of blog, please find a Samantha.
Yes, love’s had me on the ropes, gasping from the blows of too many questions. Is it really you and not me? Will a fresh start restore Cupid’s uppercut? Will I find my Jessica Stein? Will you follow all my random references? For the uninitiated, Kissing Jessica Stein is a movie about the journey of a straight woman in NY who unexpectedly falls in love with another woman. I hated it at first because-!spoiler alert!- she goes back to men. My baby dyke, second-wave feminist ethos did not jive with the bland Hollywood plot twist.
Ironically, something about five years in Portland, Oregon has mellowed me out though. Upon second viewing this year, I actually enjoyed the film. I decided to make it the titular reference to my blog (look at me and my titular references, next thing you know I’ll bust out with something eponymous and then I’ll really be a grad student) because I’m a pop culture fan, and let’s just say I have a type. Ping-in next time for more on that.
Chasing Jessica 
You’re way more awesome than Carrie could ever be. 😀
I loved Kissing Jessica Stein despite the ending.
p.s. I love you in advance.